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Why Being A Pushover Is A Disaster For Your Career And Your Love Life

If you find yourself being easily convinced by people into doing things you don’t want to, you are being a pushover. If people get away with repeatedly making you do favours for them without much in return, and you are left wondering if you are being taken for granted, you are a pushover. It could be a friend, your girlfriend, your boss or colleagues; it could be a polite request, a lover’s sugar-coated demand, or an appeal to the bro code – but it always ends up in you doing the dirty work. 

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It’s easy to give in. You are a nice person and you are mature enough to not let little things affect your relationships. So, you cave in to the pressure and become the bigger guy every time. People love you for that—you are the guy that never says no, the guy that will never be the asshole when your friend is in trouble. You are the guy your boss will depend on when his/her ass is on fire, but somehow you will become invisible when there’s a promotion due. It’s easy to put you on the backburner, because you always understand. It’s easy to ignore your feeble protests with a good-humoured thump on the back or a friendly kiss on the cheek. “Now come on, don’t be such a spoilsport. Let it go.” 

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It comes naturally to you, because either you are too nice or too shy to be rude to people. But, in a world where being ‘badass’ is celebrated as a synonym for being a winner, there is no place for an introvert with a meek soul. You have to shout above the noise to make yourself heard, you have to drown out the rest of the voices to be able to put forth your point. You may or may not agree with it but you’ve got to do it anyway. If you can’t, you have to make peace with the fact that there will be times when you will lose out on opportunities, you will be underestimated, your talent and hard work could go unnoticed unless you are an exceptional genius who manages to make a dent in the universe.  

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In our brazen culture, ‘slaying’ and ‘kicking ass’ is celebrated because nothing less would do. You’ve got to give it back to the world. Good luck if you are an introvert who doesn’t like ‘kicking ass’, who finds it easier to sit behind a wall and work: pure unadulterated work. But this is the harsh truth of the modern consumerist world: you have to market yourself. They say your work speaks for itself: of course, it will only if you it is exceptionally outstanding. If you are only average or above average in this sea of competitive Sharmaji ka betas, trust me you need that extra push to get heard. Not everyone can be genius. 

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If your jealous colleague disses your idea in a meeting and you know it’s a great idea, fight for it. If your boss ignores you in the appraisal despite the fact that you hard worked your ass off, confront them and demand an explanation. Stop letting things go just because you don’t want a confrontation or you don’t want to ruin a friendly equation. Speak for yourself and you’d be surprised at how the world reacts. Contrary to what you think, most of the time they will give you your due and be more respectful of you. 

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Being a pushover is even more painful in personal relationships. From being taken granted by a partner to being left stranded by friends, you become everybody’s go-to agony aunt and punching bag at the same time. The attention is often exhilarating—you are wanted by everyone, you are the one they depend on. You are the peacemaker. You can’t deny the high of being the most liked person in the circles. This is often the motivation behind being the obligatory nice guy – people’s approval. But at what cost? It’s a choice you have to make. 

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Learn to say no, when saying yes is painful for you. it doesn’t mean you have to stop being a nice person. You don’t have to be a difficult person to escape the pushover zone. You just have to do one thing – put your foot down when you are being forced to do something you don’t want to. Say no and tell them why you.

Being easygoing doesn’t mean being a pushover. It’s easy to confuse the two. If you’ve been a pushover all your life, you might oscillate to the other extreme in trying not to be a pushover. You might think saying no every time will send a clear signal that you can’t be messed with anymore. That might work in some situations, but not in your everyday life. Rather than be difficult, be assertive. Don’t hesitate to say what you feel like, even if it means getting on the wrong side of people. It’s high time you got your due, and know you have to fight for it.

Photo: © Pexels (Main Image)

Source of news : Mensxp

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