Have you ever heard of a placebo effect in a relationship? Yes, it does exist and with a fancy name at that. A ‘situationship’ is what happens to you, or what you’re in when you’re in that terrible (or beautiful) grey area between a hook-up and a relationship. It’s just like a placebo, where it might feel like a relationship at times but in all honesty, there are boundaries and no expectations out of this association. You’re not quite dating this person but spending a lot of your time with them and let’s face it, you’re not just hooking up either. It’s a familiar situation and we’ve all been there at some point in our lives. It’s actually the modern day equivalent of a ‘complicated’ relationship!
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A situationship can both be mighty convenient or tragically confusing. Convenient for those of you who run miles away from any sort of commitment and have struck a deal with the other person, which is understood and tragic for those who want something a little more out of this conundrum of a situation and can’t get ahead of some fuzzy boundaries that are set by both of you.
Now a situationship can stem from two grey areas. The first being the obvious ‘we like each other, so lets just spend some time together and see where this goes and not commit to anything’ and the second scenario could arise from a long term relationship break up, where the comfort level is so malleable that the two people in question spend a lot of time with each other but don’t really get back into a relationship. Both cases are quite similar to one another as there are no labels used for such an association and both have a comfort factor, sans dependency and of course lots of ‘no strings attached’ sex.
Now, for those of you who are shy of commitment, this type of an equation may work out well since there are no labels or relationship rules to adhere to. You can do as you please and leave the room minus expectations. The bright side? Sometimes it’s good to spend time in a land without labels. If you fancy the person and want to spend a lot more time with them, then it’s safe to say a situationship is a good way to test the waters, to know if the person is actually worth spending more time with.
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But, there is a drastic downside to being in a place like this. Since nothing in particular is defined here, the lines can get really blurred and murky and you may find yourself in a limbo, sometimes treading over land you shouldn’t be. Say for instance you need to head out to a friends wedding and everyone invited will be there with a significant other, leaving you as the last survivor of the ‘singles club’. You really don’t want to lose face. So what do you do? Do you ask the situationship-other to accompany you? But there is a grey area there. What if the other person is not comfortable with a commitment like that? What if they don’t want to meet your family or friends at a formal occasion? That’s when the lines start to blur, when you’re sitting on the fence and wondering which side is greener.
Other than that, what if you really start falling for the person? Situationships can be misleading at times. They can seem real and really play on your hopes, to find the love of your life. They instill some sort of vague faith with believable assumptions that one day the situationship will turn into something official. The fact that you really can’t have the ‘talk’ with someone you’re just hanging out with is a little gruesome to deal with, when you already hope more from this situation. You’re in the hope that one day you can tell your family and friends about the person you’ve been spending most of your time with, post pictures with them on social media etc. but without knowing what is going on inside their head.
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Situationship is a vague place to be in. It’s always ambiguous and confusing but can also work in your favour if you have all the lines defined. Make sure though, you don’t give your all to the other person. You never know when you cross-over to the other side and start expecting more. Other than that, if you find yourself in a situationship, lay back and enjoy the no-strings-attached, commitment and expectation free, label-less ride!
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